Monday, October 20, 2008
have you ever thought how blessed you are? i know i havent, at least not recently. its kinda.. weird. i was like reading my blog and although i try to make it sound very happy and chirpy but... that's not me.
yes, i can be happy. i can be loud. i can be outright insane sometimes. but at the same time, i'm cynical. i'm insecure. i can suffer from very low self-esteem. a yo-yo would best describe my moods. but the thing is, how many people do i know would go to the ends of the earth and back if they knew what i was suffering from? it could be something as frivilous as my favourite piece of clothing being torn or my bf breaking up with me or a relative (touchwood) passing away.
back in secondary school, i know some of the people i hung out with basically THRIVED on either MONEY (as long its not theirs), FUN or in some cases, OTHER PEOPLE'S MISERY.
as soon as my mind sobered up from those heady delusions, i threw out most of them. some, i knew, although they had their flaws, they accepted me for my character. they didn't expect something out of me except just my understanding and friendship.
which brings me back to my point. i was watching oprah's big give (yes, i hate her. i think she's an emotionless cow especially considering the show and yet she had a fucking bored look on her face). one of the contestants was sent to work at a zoo which he couldnt really help. so what he did right after work was to find those missionary places and he donated 500/1000 bucks and some stuff to them.
straight after that, he went to those dinner places where needy people had free meals. i dont think there is one in singapore but i've read enough about it to know it happens all over the great US of A.
and you would think he would have stopped after helping prepare and serve but no. he continued with the washing up. that's when he met this black (no racism meant) guy who although had a hard life, he was still optimistic. and what the black guy said really touched me.
he said that although he's had a hard life and its still quite tough on him. he is blessed. coz somewhere out there, there's someone suffering something worse so he's grateful for what he has. and furthermore he's grateful for that contestant because (the 26 yr old contestant's a millionaire by the way) despite their differences and his poverty, the contestant never looked down on him. in fact he treated the guy as well as everyone else, the same way. WITH RESPECT.
that got me thinking. have i treated anyone with less than respect (stupid POM teacher aside)? honestly if anyone answers no, they're lying. i know sometimes i have this instinctive feeling of who's a friend or foe and sadly that is probably why i don't bother being nice or friendly with some people. but that useful skill has saved me plenty of times from incessant drama or problems.
but then again, should i have given them at least that one chance to prove themselves? nobody likes to be misjudged but it happens everyday. would it be different if i gave people a chance?
yes, i can be happy. i can be loud. i can be outright insane sometimes. but at the same time, i'm cynical. i'm insecure. i can suffer from very low self-esteem. a yo-yo would best describe my moods. but the thing is, how many people do i know would go to the ends of the earth and back if they knew what i was suffering from? it could be something as frivilous as my favourite piece of clothing being torn or my bf breaking up with me or a relative (touchwood) passing away.
back in secondary school, i know some of the people i hung out with basically THRIVED on either MONEY (as long its not theirs), FUN or in some cases, OTHER PEOPLE'S MISERY.
as soon as my mind sobered up from those heady delusions, i threw out most of them. some, i knew, although they had their flaws, they accepted me for my character. they didn't expect something out of me except just my understanding and friendship.
which brings me back to my point. i was watching oprah's big give (yes, i hate her. i think she's an emotionless cow especially considering the show and yet she had a fucking bored look on her face). one of the contestants was sent to work at a zoo which he couldnt really help. so what he did right after work was to find those missionary places and he donated 500/1000 bucks and some stuff to them.
straight after that, he went to those dinner places where needy people had free meals. i dont think there is one in singapore but i've read enough about it to know it happens all over the great US of A.
and you would think he would have stopped after helping prepare and serve but no. he continued with the washing up. that's when he met this black (no racism meant) guy who although had a hard life, he was still optimistic. and what the black guy said really touched me.
he said that although he's had a hard life and its still quite tough on him. he is blessed. coz somewhere out there, there's someone suffering something worse so he's grateful for what he has. and furthermore he's grateful for that contestant because (the 26 yr old contestant's a millionaire by the way) despite their differences and his poverty, the contestant never looked down on him. in fact he treated the guy as well as everyone else, the same way. WITH RESPECT.
that got me thinking. have i treated anyone with less than respect (stupid POM teacher aside)? honestly if anyone answers no, they're lying. i know sometimes i have this instinctive feeling of who's a friend or foe and sadly that is probably why i don't bother being nice or friendly with some people. but that useful skill has saved me plenty of times from incessant drama or problems.
but then again, should i have given them at least that one chance to prove themselves? nobody likes to be misjudged but it happens everyday. would it be different if i gave people a chance?
what we could have been, 10:17 am.
